


COR GEMINAE

by Swan_mills7



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, One Shot, swanqueen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-15 08:56:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11802744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swan_mills7/pseuds/Swan_mills7
Summary: This fanfic is written in first person from Emma POVAbstract:"The Mills twins were the mean girls of StoryBrooke College. Quinn Mills was a prelaw major, president of the student body association as well as the Model UN club. She was stunning, she was sassy, and she was out. Every girl on campus either wanted to be her or be with her. Everyone except her twin sister, of course: Regina Mills. And she was a personality on her own: An English and Spanish double major, she was the president of the Student Board and the prestigious Drama Club. The twins were rich, popular, and gorgeous, and I would have never dreamed to fall on their orbit on purpose, but as destiny had it, I shared a class with Quinn back on my freshman year, English 101. And I fell hard for her. It was love at first sight. I’m telling you, it happens in real life, it’s definitely a thing."College AU. SwanQueen endgame. One shot.





	COR GEMINAE

**Author's Note:**

  * For [napfreak](https://archiveofourown.org/users/napfreak/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Midnight fieldwork [Art]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11930982) by [napfreak](https://archiveofourown.org/users/napfreak/pseuds/napfreak). 
  * Inspired by [Midnight fieldwork [Art]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11930982) by [napfreak](https://archiveofourown.org/users/napfreak/pseuds/napfreak). 



> I want to thank the girls behind SQ SuperNova who have done such an amazing job putting all of this together. This is my first time writing for an event like this, and I loved it, it has been a pleasure to participate. I also want to thank @bitmorerefined and @swanqueenlife_ (find them on IG) for all their great ideas, but mostly for bearing with me. This fanfic was inspired by NapFreak's fabulous fanart. I'm a new writer so be nice, all mistakes are my own, please excuse them (or ignore them, that works too). I hope you enjoy, SWEN. Viva la SwanQueen!

 

 

Hi there. My name is Emma, Emma Swan. The sleeping beauty sitting next to me is my wife. Isn’t she gorgeous? I can’t help staring down at her. Especially when she’s sleeping like she is now. She seems so peaceful, so relaxed, so human. The complete opposite to when she's awake. Then she turns into a literal human tornado, always working on something, planning a project for the town, arranging our son’s schedule, managing our finances, anything to keep her busy, it is almost like she’s living for two. It is not easy to get her to slow down, she has so much energy. I love her for it, of course; she keeps me on my toes. I actually can’t believe she’s sleeping right now, she must have been exhausted. It is very unlike her.

 

You must be wondering how I got so lucky that I ended up with such a hot specimen. Well, let me tell you, it wasn’t easy.

 

I remember the night it all started like it was yesterday. It was back when we were all in college. Ruby was having one of her parties in the dorm we shared. Ruby was very well known on campus and she always had different crowds in the apartment. I honestly never minded them. I would just lock myself in my room and watch reruns of my favorite shows, or just lay in my bed and blast old Avril Lavigne songs on my headphones. But this one time I remember I decided to come out and join her, my computer had been acting up and I was bored. And man, was I glad I did. Ruby had managed to get the Mills twins to come over.

 

The Mills twins were the mean girls of StoryBrooke College. Quinn Mills was a prelaw major, president of the student body association as well as the Model UN club. She was stunning, she was sassy, and she was out. Every girl on campus either wanted to be her or be with her. Everyone except her twin sister, of course: Regina Mills. And she was a personality on her own: An English and Spanish double major, she was the president of the Student Board and the prestigious Drama Club. The twins were rich, popular, and gorgeous, and I would have never dreamed to fall on their orbit on purpose, but as destiny had it, I shared a class with Quinn back on my freshman year, English 101. And I fell hard for her. It was love at first sight. I’m telling you, it happens in real life, it’s definitely a thing.

 

And it wasn’t just that she was gorgeous, you know? But she was so confident, so smooth. She showed up to class wearing gorgeous dresses that fit her body perfectly, always flattering her curvy figure, she walked around campus on impossibly high stilettos, her long, silky hair always fashionably styled in a high ponytail, dark makeup professionally applied. Her bright red lips enhancing perfectly straight white teeth. I’m telling you, she was a vision. She hadn’t gotten the memo that life wasn’t a photo shoot, and she was owning it.

 

While in class, I couldn’t stop staring at her. I sat far enough from her that she wouldn’t notice me, but close enough that I could still look at her from afar. I know what you are thinking: Creeper. Yes, yes I was. But I didn’t have the balls to talk to her back then. I would have made a fool out of myself. 

 

And I did, actually. Made a fool out of myself that is. It was the week before the final, Quinn’s girlfriend Malarie, an eastern European chick, star of the volleyball team, picked her up from class like usual. Mal was the professor’s TA and she walked into the classroom like she owned it. She then would go to Quinn, put her backpack on her shoulder, take her hand and leave with her by her side. Most of the time I tried leaving through the back door avoiding them altogether (yes, I might have been jealous of Mal, and I didn’t like watching her mark her territory like that) but this one time, Mal made eye contact with me from the moment she entered the classroom, she didn’t drop my eyes once while walking towards Quinn’s regular seat and she even stared me down while she obscenely French kissed her right in front of the whole class. And she was so obnoxious about it, you know? Anyway, after I finally managed to look away, I got up and got ready to leave, but of course, me being me, I tripped and knocked them over. 

 

The whole class went quiet. The blonde amazon got all defensive and asked me what my problem was; before I could defend myself and tell her that it had been an accident, which it had been!, honestly; Quinn smiled at me and helped me get up. “No harm done,” she said and pulled Mal by her hand without looking back. The blonde took Quinn’s backpack and stepped away while staring me down until the last possible second.

 

Anyways that was the very first and last thing Quinn said to me that year. So imagine my surprise when that night I step out of my bedroom and see Quinn and Mal sitting casually on my couch. I almost closed the door and got back inside, except I couldn't not be there, you know? I hadn’t seen Quinn up close for a while and I was going through serious withdrawals. Before either of them noticed my staring at them, I walked towards my kitchen at full speed to grab a beer.

 

Now, this is the funny part, when I got there I saw a girl that looked exactly like Quinn standing by the counter flirting with a tall, charming guy. I looked at her and back at Quinn so fast that I almost got whiplash. And before you say anything, I know what you are thinking, how did I not know Quinn had a twin sister? I just didn’t, I wasn’t very sociable back then, and it’s not like I stalked Quinn in real life, we weren’t even friends on Facebook. Of course, after I found out, I realized what a hermit I had been. The Mills twins were legends on campus like I told you before. Everyone knew about them. But I hadn’t, and that night I was pleasantly and utterly shocked.

 

So there I am in my tiny kitchen, seeing a perfect copy of the girl I like, making out with a random, quite average-looking guy. I hated to interrupt, really, but they were standing right in front of the fridge and I badly needed a beer. So very subtly I cleared my throat and the couple turned around to look at me “I’m terribly sorry” the guy, Daniel I later learned, said, “Can I hand you anything?” It took me a minute to reply because I had just seen Regina for the very first time and she was just as gorgeous as her twin sister. I stared at her, like a fool, I should add, looking for differences between them. There was an obvious one, of course, Regina was straight. Also, she had short hair which fell prettily on her shoulders. But everything else was the same. Same impressive wardrobe and taste in shoes, same stunning brown eyes, perfectly shaped eyebrows, sharp cheekbones, plump red lips, and same dashing smile. When Regina looked at me, with a fabulous combination of curious bright eyes and a wicked smile, I swear I died and went to heaven. It was like time had stopped, you know? When I didn’t say anything for a while, Regina slowly raised her right eyebrow, probably wondering what was wrong with me, she then turned to Daniel and told him she would wait for him in the living room.

 

“So they are twins?” I asked him idiotically, after Regina left us behind “Yeah” he said kindly, “it can be quite the shock I know.”

 

He handed me a Corona and I walked towards Ruby after thanking him. I was in legit shock. I was still processing the fact that Quinn had an identical twin. But also I was a bit upset, not only were there two gorgeous brunettes in my living room, but they were both taken, and way out of my league.

 

About thirty minutes later, after everyone was sufficiently intoxicated, Ruby lowered the music blasting the speakers and announced to the people remaining that we should all sit in a circle in the living room. It was time for “Spin the Bottle” she said happily while holding an empty beer bottle between her fingers, and my heart jumped into my throat once more. I never loved Ruby more.

 

We all walked around and sat in a big circle. I counted six guys and eight girls, including me. Of course, I had no interest in kissing any of the boys, I am gay. As gay as they come. Not that I announced it to the world back then, but I knew and that was all that mattered. Other people knew too, but not because I told them, it was just how it was. Anyway, I wasn't interested in kissing any of the guys, but I was willing to endure it if it meant I had even a slight chance of kissing Quinn. Even if her amazonian girlfriend might murder me afterward. I knew it would be worth it.

 

We all sat in a circle while Ruby explained the rules, nothing out of the ordinary: Each person spins the bottle once. They must kiss the person to whom the bottle points when it stops spinning. The kiss must last at least 5 seconds, they both take a shot before the kiss. 

 

Mary Margaret and David excused themselves and decided to leave. I think MM was upset because they had announced their engagement in the party and the news had fallen flat, Mulan had told MM to stop showing off her ‘price tag’ (referring to her engagement ring) because it set feminism back 50 years. I thought that was a bit harsh, but anyways, I wasn’t about to jump to their defense. Gay marriage wasn’t even legal back then, and I thought Mulan had a point. I was just grateful the petite brunette didn’t think the same of the game we were about to play, in fact, she seemed eager to get on with it.

 

So back to the game, Quinn announced she would go first and span the bottle rather eagerly, I held my breath when it started slowing down, then Mal stopped it when the mouth of the bottle was pointing her way. Quinn grinned satisfied and tongue kissed her in the middle of the circle right after taken their tequila shots. I couldn’t help rolling my eyes. Of course Mal would do something like that, and honestly, I didn't blame her. I probably would too if I was with a girl like her.

 

"Alright, alright” called Ruby, and thankfully pulled them apart. Mal licked her upper lip suggestively while looking at (surprise!) yes, me. I didn’t think much of it at the moment, she did stare me down a lot, so clearly she knew about my crush for Quinn, but the brunette in question seemed gratefully unaware of it so Mal’s stare downs didn't concern me much. Even back then I could stand my ground.

 

Next went Ruby, the group collectively held their breath, the young brunette was hot and popular and I was pretty sure more than half the people there wanted to kiss her. August was the lucky one, and he quickly downed his shot and moved towards her, Ruby grinned widely and kissed him for good 10 seconds. August’s grin didn’t leave his scrubby face for the rest of the night.

 

Next went Daniel, who had hoped for Regina but gotten Neal instead. The boys made a face but gamely went along with it. Everyone cheered them up. I patted Neal in the back. Neal was one of the few guys I hung out with at the time, he called me his wing-woman, though I don’t think I was very good at it, I didn’t really like going to bars much, and I had zero to none interest in helping him get laid.

 

Anyway, it was finally my turn to spin it and I was slightly nervous, ok a lot nervous, it was my chance, you know? I realized I wasn’t drunk enough to do it, at least not as drunk as everyone else seemed to be. But I wasn’t about to chicken out. I looked up at Quinn who was sitting next to her sister, they were both casually eying the bottle, seemingly uninterested. I closed my eyes and hoped for the best.

 

When the bottle landed pointing towards Regina, the world slowed down again. My heart jumped to my throat when the confident brunette looked up into my eyes, I looked back steadily, hoping not to convey how nervous I really was. She turned to Daniel who only shrugged his shoulders and then to her sister, who was grinning wickedly, challengingly almost. Ok, maybe Quinn did know about my crush after all, because she obviously stared me down, searching my eyes for a reaction. I looked back at her shocked.

 

Before I could make a decision, or say anything at all, Regina took her shot, reached for my neck and pulled me to her. The second I felt Regina’s lips touch mine, I gasped. Fireworks. Legit fireworks exploded behind my eyelids. Regina took it as an invitation and intensified the kiss immediately. This close to her I could smell her sweet perfume. She smelled of crisp green apples and breezy summer nights. She opened her hand to grab the hair over my neck and pulled me closer to her. I happily complied. Her skilled tongue moved boldly around mine and her lips delicately opened and closed around my chopstick covered mouth. I remember thinking the kiss tasted of bourbon and cherries; which was weird because Regina was drinking tequila and I had stuck to beer. Anyways I didn't question it, I was in heaven. An eternity later, or maybe ten seconds, depending on who was counting, the kiss abruptly ended. My eyes were still closed and my mouth slightly opened when I felt Regina’s hot breath on my nose, and then her thumb slowly tracing my trembling lower lip, possibly cleaning traces of bright lipstick left behind. It was so sensual. I wanted to lose myself forever on her touch.

 

When I opened my eyes again, Regina was no longer in front of me. She had moved back to her place in between Daniel and Quinn. I quickly averted my eyes as soon as I noticed both sisters curiously looking my way. I panicked for a second. I had had a crush on Quinn for the past four semesters, I dreamed about her constantly but never had I had the courage to actually talk to her about it, amazonian girlfriend and all. And besides, I was pretty sure she didn’t even know who I was until that night.  And then there was Regina, who I had only met for the first time that night, and with whom I had just shared the most sensual first kiss in the history of kisses. 

 

After the group dissipated and everyone started to talk to each other again, I walked towards Regina as soon as Daniel left her side to go get them more drinks, and introduced myself officially “I’m Emma” I told her, with what I can only describe as the goofiest smile in the world, while offering her my right hand. “Emma Swan,” she said while looking at me up and down “I know.” When she didn't reach for my hand I awkwardly moved it to my face, pretending to fix my hair instead. “You, you know?” I asked incredulously. “My sister might have mentioned you once or twice,” she said cryptically, and I felt all the blood in my body rushing to my face. “She .. did?” I asked dumbly. Regina grinned broadly while licking her upper lip. “She might have” she repeated and then turned around and went in search of her boyfriend.

 

The rest of the night was a blur to me. I couldn't stop thinking of the way Quinn had looked at me right before I had kissed her sister. Questioningly, challengingly. Had she expected me to not go ahead with it? Was she disappointed that I had? What had Regina meant Quinn might have mentioned me once or twice? And then there was the kiss. Regina’s kiss had been amazing. It was everything I thought kissing Quinn would be. And more. So much more. I no longer knew how I felt about Quinn. The infuriating brunettes were all I could think about for the rest of the week.

 

__

 

After two years of not once running into either Mills sister on campus, I all of a sudden started seeing them everywhere. In the student center, surrounded by adoring girls, and cool looking guys, in the cafeteria talking animatedly with Daniel and Mal who seemed to get along alright, in the faculty halls walking side by side, talking to the professors like they were their old time friends, even in the library, wearing matching reading glasses and looking equally breathtaking. At first, I tried to get their attention, looking at them hoping to catch either of their eyes, but the twins never made eye contact with anyone that wasn’t in their immediate circle. They were like celebrities avoiding adoring fans on the streets. 

 

I had given up hope to ever again interact with either one when the impossible happened. They showed up to one of my softball games! Oh yeah, did I mention I played softball in college? I did. I was pretty good. Ruby had played for a semester, but she quit because she couldn't fit our hectic training schedules with her ever busy social life (I know, priorities) that’s actually how we met and ended up rooming for the duration of our college life.

 

Ruby sometimes made time to show up to a game or two per season and often brought big crowds with her. But never in my wildest dreams did I dare hope she would bring the Mills sisters along. I remember walking towards the home plate and hearing Ruby yell my name. I looked up, and there they were, Quinn and Regina standing side by side, looking like they were at a fashion show and not a college stadium, and staring at me with matching appraising expressions. My mouth dropped. I positioned myself looking at the pitcher, I had never been more nervous about a game, I felt their eyes on me and felt my neck and ears growing warm. I tried to ignore them, but it was impossible, it was like trying to ignore the sun. Needless to say, I missed all the balls thrown my way, and yeah we also lost the game. Way to make a lasting impression, right? Right. I was mortified.

 

I walked out of the field with my uniform still on, not looking forward to facing the rest of the team, ready to go home and well, die. But Ruby saw me and yelled at me “Hey, Ems! Wait up” I heard her and started walking faster towards the parking lot, spotting my yellow bug at the end of the row. Ruby, damn her long legs, caught up to me really fast and insisted I joined them to celebrate. “Celebrate what?” I asked her rather rudely, Ruby only laughed and pulled me back to the stadium. I let myself be dragged by her and only looked up when I sensed Quinn's presence. “Hi,” I said idiotically.

 

“Hi Emma, nice game,” the brunette said, I only smiled awkwardly knowing too well she was not being sincere, even with her huge sunglasses covering her eyes. “Don’t taunt her,” said Regina, moving to stand next to her twin as she moved her own sunglasses above her face as if to appraise me better, “it was a fine game, Emma” she conceded gently. And you know what? It had been, we had been winning before the twins announced their presence and only lost by a slight margin. “Thank you” I managed to say her way and quickly walked back to the lockers to shower and change out of my dirty uniform. “We’ll wait for you here, Ems” Ruby called after me, oblivious to my internal suffering.

 

After taking my time to shower, I finally wrapped myself up in a gym towel and walked towards my locker. Thankfully all the girls were already gone, I really wasn’t looking forward to facing them after my disastrous performance. So I was sitting down on a bench, hand drying my hair with a smaller towel when I heard the sound of high heels approaching me. I slowly looked up, my heart on my throat (at this point you may just assume that’s where it will be whenever in the proximity of either Mills sister) and saw a gorgeous brunette looking greedily down at me, rhythmically tapping her right stiletto on the ceramic floor. 

 

“What’s taking you so long, Emma?” The brunette asked me. I swallowed notoriously while rejoicing in the way she had pronounced my name, elongating it, savoring it, almost. I wanted to hear that sound on repeat for the rest of my life. I was slightly startled when Quinn walked even closer to me. I got up to reach her eyes while holding tightly to the only barrier to my nakedness. I swear my heart stopped beating when I caught the brunette not so subtlety checking me out, tracing a drop of water down my cleavage “Is it going to be much longer?” She asked after releasing her lower lip. I shuddered and lamely shook my head no, “great,” she said with a smile that did not reach her eyes, her long hair switching sides when she turned around, and she then walked out, hips provokingly swaying side to side, not once looking back.

 

After she left, my brain decided to check back in and came out with adequate comebacks: “What are you doing here?,” “Are you checking me out?,” “Don’t you have a girlfriend?,” “You know my name?,” “You legit want to hang out with me?,” But of course it was too late to voice them so, in record time I changed into my battle clothes (white tank top, tight jeans, brown boots, red leather jacket) knowing I needed all the confidence I could get, and off I went.

 

Once I got to ‘The Rabbit Hole’ the most common destination for us Brookers, I spotted Mulan, Mary Margaret and Belle by the bar happily chatting and I walked straight to them. “Emma” Mulan acknowledged me by putting her arm around my shoulders “What happened there, Em? You dropped the ball on us.” I looked down ashamed “I’m sorry,” I told her honestly “It won’t happen again.” The short brunette could see that I was upset about it as well so she easily let it go. “Let me buy you a drink” she offered instead. 

 

Two Jameson shots and three Coronas later I finally had the courage to look around and freely seek brown eyes. Which set of brown eyes was I looking for you ask? I didn’t know. Honestly, at that point, I still didn't know. Both brunettes were equally intriguing and unattainable. Equally mesmerizing and infuriating. Both them had recurring performances in my (sometimes highly inappropriate, but mostly just platonic) dreams.

 

I casually walked around the small establishment and when I didn’t find either of them, I sat back down disappointed. “Just my luck,” I thought. Then suddenly I heard the most beautiful sound in the air, a high melodic reverberation that had many heads turning around simultaneously towards its source, it was Regina, of course it was, sitting in one of the corner booths. I turned around slowly, as to not jerk around my heart too fast and there she was, brushing her dark hair away from her face while laughing at something Quinn had said. 

 

I immediately jumped from my seat. Under any other circumstance, I would have talked myself out of it; after all, I had a terrible record when it came to either Mills and at that moment I didn’t exactly trust myself to do better. Luckily I had liquor courage on me, courtesy of Mulan, so I valiantly got up and walked towards them. Quinn spotted me first, she playfully elbowed Mal whose smile vanished the second she looked my way.

 

“Emma!” Daniel called me once he saw me. He got up and offered me his seat next to Regina and facing Mal. I looked down at Regina who smiled at me almost predatorily (ok maybe not exactly predatorily but she did make me feel like she was the hunter and I was the prey) and nodded at me. Right after I sat she delicately placed her right hand on my knee and I couldn't help holding my breath.

 

Remember how I said I felt like prey? Well, turns out that’s exactly what I was. Mal was practically devouring me with her blue piercing eyes, it felt like she was trying to see right into my soul; meanwhile Quinn held my eyes while suggestively biting her lower lip and Regina, Regina started delicately drawing circles on top of my left tight, while casually carrying on with their conversation. I had never felt more uncomfortable. I didn't want the moment to ever end.

 

But all too soon, it did. Mal brought up my less than ideal performance at the game and I immediately got all defensive. “Give her a break” finally interrupted Regina, whose hand, by the way, was still on me, “no, its ok,” I said a bit rudely, looking straight at Mal “I can defend myself.” I immediately regretted saying that when Regina’s hand finally left my leg and reluctantly moved towards her glass. “I thought you were great, Emma” added Quinn, though I suspect she said it more to provoke Mal than to appease me.

 

Right then Ruby moved to the table with a tray of shots “Go Knights!” She said while we all grabbed a shot. Afterward, everyone started leaving the booth and without warning I found myself sitting there alone with Regina. Just the two of us. She looked up at me expectantly, probably hoping for me to start the conversation, but I had no idea what to say to her, not deeming “I’ve been thinking about you constantly” or “You are a really good kisser” appropriate icebreakers. Regina moved her hand towards my knee again and whispered in my ear. I looked up shocked and saw her not so subtly staring down at my lips.

 

Ever since I’ve had this moment on repeat on my mind, sometimes in slow motion, it is truly something: Without even looking around, Regina slowly touched my face and drew me towards her. When our lips met for that second time I knew for sure I was a goner. The kiss was slow, tender, almost shy. When I tried to deepen it, Regina broke it and stared at me for what felt like two or maybe three eternities. She then got up and stretched her hand. “Wanna go somewhere else?” She asked with the sulkiest voice I had ever heard. I did not need to be asked twice.

 

We ended up getting into the back seat of my bug, which was conveniently parked a few blocks away from the pub. I remember Regina looking at me intensely, I feared she was reconsidering her actions, but she must have found what she was looking for because shortly after she smiled approvingly and I visibly relaxed. I exhaled loudly and she laughed prettily. “Are you nervous?” She asked me. I decided I didn’t want to play any games with her and so told I her sincerely “petrified.”

 

“Don’t be. It’s just me, you can be just you with me.” Regina assured me. “Thanks,” I said awkwardly, I didn’t know what to do with my hands so I just put them on my lap. “Are you gay, Emma?” Regina asked me. Straight to the point. Now, up until then, I had never told anyone I was gay, not even myself really, so imagine my surprise when I opened my mouth and “yes” came out of it. Regina only nodded, like she was expecting that answer. “I am not,” she said  matter-of-factly and laughed at my shocked expression. “I admit I enjoyed kissing you very much. You are really good at it. But I don’t think that makes me gay, do you? There must be more to it than that.”

 

I considered what she said “I guess. I’m not the right person to ask” I told her honestly after a minute “Why?” She asked, intrigued. I didn’t want to tell her she had been the very first girl I had ever kissed, how lame would that make me?, but I didn’t want to lie to her either, you know? So I decided to be as obtuse as possible with my answer. I carefully chose my words before lamely blurting “You were my first,” because the universe hates me.

 

Regina blinked a couple of times, clearly surprised “Really? I wasn’t expecting that” “Yeah” I said, internally berating me for being so lame, and then, because I seriously don’t know how to shut up “I enjoyed it, too.” Regina pierced me once more with her gorgeous brown eyes, raised one of her perfectly shaped eyebrows while tilting her head to the right, and then without warning, she turned around and gracefully exited the bug. My heart fell at the rejection. Still, I couldn't help but look up while Regina slowly closed the door and said to me while inadvertently exposing her cleavage “Then we should do it again sometime, Swan.”

 

_

 

The following month was the best of my life. Regina and I spent it sneaking around and making out whenever we had the chance. In empty halls between classes, under the benches before softball practice, hidden by books while pretending to study in the library.  Sometimes Regina would surprise me and whisper confessions in between kisses, innocent ones like “I love how soft your lips are” or “your eyes are my favorite shade of green” and sometimes really profound ones like “I’ve never felt this way about Daniel” or my favorite “I think I might be gay after all, Emma, but just for you.” 

 

I was riding cloud nine and forcibly ignoring the voice in the back of my mind that screamed that it could not last forever. And well, it didn’t. I had to go and ruin it by asking Regina for more than she could give me. That’s right. I asked her to leave Daniel. It was too much too soon and Regina, perhaps rightly so, stopped seeking me out. “I can’t do that to him” she whispered that fateful dark night while sitting in the back seat of my bug “I will not break his heart.”

 

“But you will mine?” I asked her, unable to hide my frustration, angry tears down my face. “I’m sorry, Emma” she sincerely said as she walked away forever. Or so I thought at the time.

 

__

 

A couple of weeks later I was sitting on my favorite desk in the last floor of the library when I heard the sound of impossibly high stilettos coming my way. At once my heart jumped to my throat while I looked up abruptly, hoping to see Regina, had she changed her mind? Was she here to see me? But it wasn’t her, I visibly deflated when instead I found Quinn grinning my way. “Glad to see me, I see.” She said jokingly.

 

“I’m sorry. I thought you were—”

 

“Regina, yes I assumed” she interrupted me “That’s actually why I’m here now.”

 

“Is she ok?” I asked her genuinely concerned. “Maybe that’s why she hasn’t called me” I remember selfishly thinking.

 

“She’s fine,” Quinn said while pulling a chair and sitting next to me, visibly upset. For a second neither of us said anything and I found myself studying her face up close, looking once more for differences between her and her twin. I found none.

 

“Regina and I share everything, you know?” She finally said, while holding eye contact. I felt the blood rushing to my face while I stuttered my answer “Yeah?”

 

“Oh yes,” she said. “We certainly do.” She was sitting so close to me that I could smell her perfume. It was deep, provocative, seductive.

 

I continued to stare numbly at her and Quinn smiled wickedly. “That’s how we were raised,” she said before looking around the room. I saw her slowly moving towards me, and for some unknown reason, I didn’t stop her. I told myself I was just curious, after all, I had had a crush on her for the longest time, but in reality, I think I just missed Regina so damn much and Quinn looked exactly like her. It was the second best thing. She stopped right before our lips touched and sought confirmation with her piercing brown eyes that were so right and yet so wrong. 

 

When I didn't move away she slowly licked her lower lip and aggressively reached for mine. Kissing Quinn was nothing like kissing Regina. Quinn was all tongue and teeth. She didn’t ask, she demanded, she invaded, she conquered. I had no choice but to surrender. Before I had the chance to reciprocate, Quinn held my jaw in place and pulled my lower lip with her teeth. Then with a loud “pop,” she let go of me.

 

“Wow,” I idiotically mumbled. “That was ..”

 

Quinn only laughed at me. “It’s a shame you and Mal don’t get along. So much lost potential”

 

“What’s that?” I asked her, confused.

 

“Mal, my girlfriend” she repeated matter of factly. At that point, I just had it with the Mills sisters thinking they could come into my life, take whatever they wanted, and give me nothing in return. 

 

“I will not go through this again,” I told her while getting up and hastily gathering my belongings, while Quinn chuckled to herself. When I turned around I saw Regina looking at me from afar, eyes furious, fists at her sides. “Fuck” I eloquently said to no one in particular. Of course Regina had seen me making out with her sister. Had I mentioned yet that the universe hated me? 

 

“Call me,” Quinn said unhelpfully, and before I could say anything to Regina, she was gone.

 

“Don’t worry about her” Said Quinn after I defeatedly sat back down next to her, barely holding in fast approaching tears “You have me.”

 

__

 

“Having Quinn” was not having her at all. Quinn was a free soul. I finally understood why Mal was such a hawk when she was with her. Everyone that looked her way, a potential rival. I started spending time with her, not making out, like you might be thinking, just spending time with her, talking, laughing. Quinn was much more profound than what she appeared to be, I quickly learned. She was dedicated, smart, funny, ambitious, surprisingly insightful and she cared deeply for her sister.

 

At times I wasn’t sure where I stood with Quinn. Sometimes she seemed content to just spend time with me as friends, but other times I caught her staring at me when she thought I wasn’t looking. Like she was expecting me to make a move on her, except I wasn’t about to ruin our friendship without being sure of what she wanted. Or what I wanted for that matter. 

 

After the disastrous kiss in the library, Quinn told me she actually had known Regina was going to be there, and she had hoped to make her sister jealous, force her to fight for what she wanted, to finally make a decision. And as much as I appreciated Quinn’s evil mind in action, I could not thank her for that one. It had terribly backfired for me. 

 

Regina had refused to talk to me after having witnessed ‘the kiss’ and went back to Daniel almost immediately. “Went back?” I asked Quinn when she told me about it. “Yeah, they broke up a week before. Didn’t you know?” She asked slightly annoyed.

 

I hadn’t. Obviously. Had I known I would have, I don't know. Wrote her a thousand love letters. Hired mariachis to serenade her. Confess my undying love. Something. But it was too late now for Regina had gone back to him at once. 

 

_

 

The semester ended and everyone went their jolly way. I stayed on campus, like usual, working full time at Granny’s diner. I had only one more year in college and seriously needed to start saving for whatever came next. Not that I knew what that was. I wasn’t a very ambitious person back then. I was majoring in Physical Education for God’s sake.

 

Quinn kept in touch with me, mercifully. I followed her on Snapchat and was lucky to sometimes see flashes of Regina in the background. Regina looked happy, if social media was to be trusted. And Quinn looked .., honestly I thought she looked a bit anxious underneath her forced smiles. Though she refused to tell me why, every time changing the topic to Regina until I got the hint and stopped asking her about it.

 

After two long, lonely months life returned to StoryBrooke college. Bars started to get repopulated, laundromats started to run out of available washing machines, and the dorm's parking lots started to be filled with poorly parked vehicles. College was officially back on.

 

I remember I was especially nervous those days. I had, not so accidentally, signed up for a class with Regina, she had already taken all the classes she needed and was in the market for electives, Quinn had once absently mentioned, and she had chosen Art History, of course,  because Regina was a closeted snob. 

 

The first day of class I sat in the last row and excitedly waited for her to show up. I was determined to get her to forgive me. I was done with silently longing after her. We had both fucked up, and I was determined to salvage whatever I could from our short lived friendship. I needed her to listen to me. I suspected she already knew that the kiss hadn’t meant anything, and I was confident she would forgive me once she heard my heartfelt apology. I wasn't expecting Regina to suddenly run to me and leave Daniel for good. I wasn’t stupid. But I wanted (needed) to have her back in my life. It was disconcerting how much I had missed her. Not a day went by that I didn’t think of her, of the stricken way her brown eyes searched for me, of her red lips intertwined with mine, of the way she made me want to be my best self. 

 

Finally, Regina showed up, but she wasn’t alone. Quinn and Mal were with her. I looked at them confused. Quinn knew the reason I had signed up for that class was to try and get some alone time with Regina. Was Quinn trying to interfere with that? Was she trying to help me, maybe? I didn’t know. Quinn was always such an enigma. Suddenly I felt that that class was going to make or break my relationship with the twins. I was walking a narrow line and I knew it.

 

The first couple of weeks Regina ignored me completely. Quinn only looked up at me and shrugged her shoulders condescendingly. I felt like crying every time, but I endured it, I endured it because I knew Regina would eventually come around. She had to, right?

 

Wrong. She didn’t. Instead, she stopped coming to class altogether. At first, I selfishly thought she was trying to avoid me. Though it wasn’t like her at all, Regina actually took college seriously, always a nerd at heart. I tried to ask Quinn about her but Mal was back on bodyguard duty and did not let me approach her at all. All my texts remained unread. My phone calls unanswered.

 

Desperate for news I started listening to the rumors on campus. Some said Regina had gone abroad abruptly and would not be coming back for a while. I doubted that was the case because Regina wouldn't go anywhere without Quinn, those two were attached at the hip. Others said Regina had gotten pregnant and didn’t want people to find out. Those rumors were too Mexican soap opera for me to take seriously, so I ignored them. Finally, there were some that swore Regina had been hospitalized due to a chronic disease. I didn’t want to believe those either, so I found myself back on square one.

 

After a month of remaining in the dark, Quinn finally took pity on me and told me what was really going on. We met in the apartment she shared with Regina right outside of campus. I had only been there a couple of times before, but never when Regina wasn’t there. And it was obvious that she wasn’t, she clearly hadn’t been there in a while. The living room was a mess, there were paper napkins thrown away all over the floor, dead flowers on the coffee table and open Chinese food containers. “What’s going on?” I asked Quinn, sensing that something was really wrong. Quinn unexpectedly broke down. Her lower lip started to tremble as tears hurriedly escaped her sorrowful eyes. 

 

Startled, I immediately went to her as she clung to me. “What is it?” I tried again, moving her long hair from her face. Quinn looked up at me intensely, imploring and slowly she leaned in to kiss me. I instinctively turned my face to the side and felt her lips land on my cheek. Quinn looked back at me shocked, hurt. “I’m sorry,” I told her truthfully, knowing very well I was probably the first person to ever reject the revered Quinn Mills “You know I care for you, Quinn” I tried lamely to appease her. She let go of me and sat down on her white couch, head on her hands. “Regina is sick,” she said mournfully, tears still fresh on her face. I went immediately cold after hearing those words, they were the last thing I had been expecting to hear. 

 

I sat down next to her and put a hand on her knee while awkwardly patting her back with the other, trying to calm her down. “Where is she?” I asked her, desperate to know. “She’s in New York,” she said, “She was diagnosed with atherosclerosis, do you know what that is?” I didn't, so I only shook my head no. Quinn went ahead and explained it all to me, how she had been diagnosed a long time ago, back when they were in high school, how Regina had been taking  strong medication all along, how she had had a minor incident during the summer which had them spending some time in the hospital. I can’t really say I understood much of what she told me at the time, I only nodded and waited for her to finish so I could ask her what I really needed to know. “Is she going to be ok?” I finally blurted. Quinn, who at that point had stopped crying, focused instead on making me understand, broke down again. “I don’t know” she whispered. 

 

“Is there anything I can do, Quinn?” I asked her hoping to be able to visit her in New York, mentally rearranging my schedule, thinking how I could make it work. “No” she whispered, “There’s nothing anyone can do. Not even me. And I would do anything for her.” 

 

The following days passed by in a blur. Every single moment I had shared with Regina played on my mind, constantly. All the stares, the smiles, the whispered confessions, the kisses, God the kisses, they were the worst. I kept replaying them in slow motion, and every time they were more distant, less real. At points I could no longer remember the exact texture of her lips, the right mixture of her perfume. It was all going away like it had happened only in my dreams.

 

I had been hurt when Regina had chosen Daniel over me, of course I had. I had been beyond hurt, but never did it occur to me to cut her off from my life completely. Not once did I hope to get over her. It was Regina who had set me aside. And I didn't blame her for it, I believed she was trying to do the right thing. But I missed her. I missed her so much it physically hurt. I honestly don't know how I passed all my classes that semester because all I remember from that time is Regina. Loving her, wanting her, missing her.

 

 

__

 

I”ll never forget the day I saw Regina finally come back to class. Two months later. She walked in, regal as always, wearing a pair of designer dark jeans, high black stilettos, a black leather shirt and a fashionable little backpack. I almost screamed with joy. And Regina noticed me right away, she looked at me for a brief moment and even smiled sadly before taking her seat on the first row. I sat on my place for the next ninety minutes not once looking away from her. Finally, right after the professor exited the classroom I walked towards her, my heart back on my throat, and my hands awkwardly in my pockets.

 

“Hi” I dumbly said. “How are you? I mean, are you ok? Or rather, Are you going to be ok?” I started asking, not quite sure how to put it tactfully. She looked around the classroom, probably to make sure no one had heard me and then cut me off politely “I’m fine, Emma. Thank you for asking.” Acknowledging her need for privacy I instead asked her “Regina, please, can we talk?”

 

To my greatest relief, she said yes. We went back to my apartment and we talked. She told me all about her last two months away from campus. Apparently, she was all too used to spending time in the hospital for long periods of times so she wasn’t scared or anything, mostly bored she told me, luckily she had been able to keep up with school and was right on track to graduate with the rest of us. She told me she had had a lot of time to think about us, and that she had realized she had been unfair to me, she told me she had missed me and that she was sorry for how things had unraveled. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, all the apologies that I had practiced suddenly unnecessary. I told her anyway, how sorry I was, for pushing her too hard when she clearly wasn't ready, for kissing Quinn in particular, for being an idiot in general. At last Regina gave me her most gorgeous smile and kissed me sweetly on the lips “my idiot” she whispered after, and just like that everything was right with the world again.

 

The next couple of weeks I spent with Regina as much time as my college life allowed, it was my senior year so my training schedule wasn’t as hectic as it had been on my early semesters, I only had three classes left and worked part time at the diner. That still allowed me to spend a lot of time with her. Regina didn’t tell me the details, but Daniel and she had broken up while she had been in the hospital, I didn't push her for the whole story, but I think he was just overwhelmed by the whole thing. I might have been too, had it been me by her side, seeing her go through so much and not been able to do anything about it, though I for sure would not have left her alone. I told her as much and she only smiled and cryptically told me things always happened for a reason. I knew there was more to that story but I didn’t push for details. I wasn’t about to question my good luck.

 

__

 

What comes next is not really easy for me to share with you. It was the worst day of my life. All of our lives, really. Not a single person in our little community was unaffected by it. It happened a week after graduation day. Regina had graduated valedictorian and given an amazing and inspiring speech. Quinn had graduated with honors as well, and both girls had been showered with gifts from their proud mother. By the way, that was the first time I met Cora, I didn’t formally meet her, of course, it is not like I was officially dating Regina or anything, I only saw her from afar and she was scary. Like really scary. Everyone said so.

 

Anyways, Quinn and Regina got two identical convertible Mercedes courtesy of their mother. Regina was thrilled about it. She and I decided to go to the lake that weekend; I was teaching Regina how to drive my Bug which was a manual and she was determined to get some practice so we took both cars. On the way back Regina decided to take the bug and I drove her car. Regina, always the overachiever, made it a point to be ahead of me the whole time, I didn’t want to race her or encourage her to go faster on my old car, so I drove slowly on purpose. I was keeping an eye on Regina from a distance, when two hours in I saw Quinn and Mal driving past me at a high speed. Mal was on the wheel and Quinn was riding shotgun, their roof was down and their hair was all over the place, matching huge grins on their faces, they seemed like they were having a lot of fun, I remember making a mental note to contact Quinn, I hadn’t spoken to her much, and I knew she was avoiding me, probably still hurt at the way I had handled our friendship. Altogether forgetting about her the second Regina made an appearance. I was a total douche. And there was also the almost kiss, we needed to talk about it still, I didn’t think she was one to take rejection smoothly. I had been a coward and I knew she deserved better.

 

I looked up and saw with despair that Mal was driving super close to Regina, making her swirl on the road. It’s funny how things happen one second to the other, and then your life changes forever. Isn’t it? One second it is all laughs and joy the next complete disarray. 

 

I saw everything happen in slow motion. At least that’s how I remember it. My heart constricted when I saw a huge red truck coming in the opposite direction out of nowhere. Regina lost control of the bug when she made a hard right turn, I assume to allow Mal to go back into our lane. But Mal must have panicked because instead of slowing down and getting back behind the bug, she made a sharp left. I panicked when I saw the bug colliding against a huge tree, sinister dark smoke coming from it. I stopped abruptly as I saw the Mercedes’ fate, which was far worse. Mal didn’t make the turn on time and the right side of the truck collided with the right side of theirs. 

 

Quinn died on impact. They declared her brain dead the second the ambulance arrived. Regina was unconscious and badly injured, but alive. Mal got lucky, she broke her right arm and had scratches all over her face, but otherwise, she was physically fine. 

 

The hours I spent outside the OR waiting to see if Regina would live or die were the longest of my life. I kept blaming myself, it had been my idea to go to the lake. I had encouraged Regina to drive the bug on our way back. And I was convinced Mal had only antagonized Regina thinking it had been me driving the bug, if I hadn’t been such an ass to her maybe she wouldn't have had the need to mess with me. Everything came back to me and now Quinn was dead. 

 

“What if Regina died too?” I kept asking myself. I could not fantom my life without her. What was the last thing I had said to her? I kept trying to remember but to no avail. I kept replaying our interactions and could not figure it out. I think it was something lame like “drive safe” it certainly wasn’t “I love you.” I had been such an insecure mess after she had come back from New York that not once did I tell her how I felt about her. I think I had been scared of pushing her too hard again, so no, it wasn’t “I love you” and I hated myself for it. 

 

But nothing I was feeling at the moment even compared to what their mother went through. I never knew what grief was until I saw Cora Mills running into the waiting room, pressingly asking about the fate of her daughters. I witnessed her breaking down after the doctors informed her about Quinn and Regina’s condition. I had to look away, I could almost hear her heart irrevocably breaking after hearing the news.

 

Regina made it. Quinn saved her in the end. Apparently, Regina’s heart couldn’t take the impact and she had critically needed a heart transplant, that’s why she spent so many hours on the operation table. Cora made the choice to give her Quinn’s heart, who had been an organ donor and had luckily been a perfect match for her sister. She saved her life. Along with many others who were lucky to be recipients. Quinn died a hero.

 

As expected, Regina didn’t take the news of her sister passing very well, but fortunately her body didn’t reject her heart. She went to therapy for a while after and later on she was released for good. The only physical evidence of the trauma a vertical scar on her chest and a tiny scar on her upper lip.

 

 

__

 

Regina became the mayor of Storybrooke a few years later. I had been surprised at first, I knew, as well as everyone else around her, that Quinn had been the one to covet the political path; prior to the accident, Regina’s dream had been to become a writer. But Regina was determined, she ran an impeccable campaign and she became the youngest mayor in the States.

 

Regina worked hard to become the best mayor she could be, I knew she did it for Quinn, most of the things she did were in memory of her twin. She even got a tattoo of a feather on her right wrist, when I asked her about it, she told me it reminded her of her twin. Luckily Regina didn’t push me away after the accident. Instead, she leaned on me and I gladly helped pull her through it. We started to officially date and made it a point to be the best versions of ourselves.

 

I thought about Quinn every day, we all did. Her life and her death left a permanent mark on all of us. Mal left the country right after the funeral and only kept in touch through social media sporadically. Cora gave a generous donation in her daughter’s name and they renamed the library building in her honor. Quinn became a sort of legend in our small town. Forever young, forever relevant. Regina and I stayed in Storybrooke. Regina refused to move and leave her sister’s final resting place unattended, I supported her decision and pursued a career in law enforcement, later I became a deputy sheriff.

 

The day I asked Regina to marry me, she looked up at me sadly and told me she was afraid to be happy. When I asked her why and she told me she was afraid to let her sister down, she said she was scared she wasn’t doing enough, that she wasn’t enough. I was surprised to see her break down like that, but also relieved that she was finally letting go. I held her all night and heard her whispered confessions, I heard her say it should have been her, that she blamed herself for the tragedy, that she should have handled things differently, better. 

 

Sobbing she told me about the last time she had spoken to her sister, it had been the morning before the accident. Quinn had called her to ask if she had seen her favorite red dress, Regina had lied to her and told her it was at the cleaners, she said it with a straight face while wearing it, she told me she feared Quinn had seen her wearing it that day on the road. She hated that she had lied to her, she kept thinking she should have just told her she had it, Quinn wouldn’t have minded, not really. The last thing she had told her sister had been a lie and she was afraid she would never make it right.

 

She also told me Quinn had been the one to encourage her to let Daniel go, that she had held her hand when she came out to their mother, that she had pressed her to reach out to me. Regina had been hesitant because she didn’t know who of them I really wanted. I don’t know how that conversation went but Quinn assured her it was her who I wanted, and in the end, Regina believed her.

 

After getting all of that off her chest, Regina and I finally started to move forward with our lives. We fixed the bug and Regina learned to drive it properly. We got married in a beautiful, small ceremony in Storybrooke’s main square. Almost all of our college friends returned to town for the occasion, only Mal remained absent. The blonde never truly forgave herself for the accident, though no one really blamed her. We adopted a wonderful little boy whom we named Henry, after Regina’s late dad. Much to my chagrin, Cora decided to move back to Storybrooke, to spend more time with Regina and Henry. The older brunette and I never exactly “bonded” but I like to think that most of the time she tolerates me well enough.

 

I sometimes still have nightmares about that horrible day. I dream about Regina ahead of me, getting farther and farther away, all the while knowing what’s going to happen and not being able to stop it, to save her. To save Quinn, to be there for her when it mattered the most, like she had been for me. I wake up drenched in sweat and tears, and regrets, so many regrets. But then I look down at my wife, peacefully sleeping next to me like she is now. Looking so small, so vulnerable. And I’m reminded of how strong she has been. Of how hard she’s fought to keep going. To not let regret or sorrow stop her. I’m so proud of her, she’s been through so much, but she came out on the other side, vigorous, strong, alive. You wouldn’t know it just by looking at her. But when awake, Regina is a real human tornado. She lives fully and she loves deeply and I am thankful to be there next to her, holding her hand.

 

Anyways, that’s me. That’s my story. I hope you take it with you and learn something from it. I hope it teaches you something, maybe along the lines of living life at its fullest, or always fighting for what you want. I hope it inspires you to not take anyone for granted, to say “I love you” more often, to apologize for your mistakes while you still have the chance to. To appreciate every single person in your life, whether they are still with you or not, and to honor them with your actions. But most importantly, I hope my story gives you hope. Please take from it that life goes on and no matter what, there’s always a tomorrow, and that it is up to you to make it count. I hope you choose to make it count.

 

 

The End.


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